Monster: One Shot
by Rokuro006
Summary: "Izaya knew he was acting out of character. There was no good reason to be standing out there like this. He reaped no benefits, nothing positive would come from it. An impulse, that's all it was" Just a one shot excerpt from the SHIZAYA story I plan to publish. YOAI. Dark. Suicidal Thoughts.


**WARNING: YAOI: boyxboy relationships. SHIZAYA**

**This one shot is Rated T, however, the actual story will be rated M or MA for violence, language, explicit sexual situations, and lots of angst.**

**Hello.**

**As the summary states this is a snippet of a long Shizaya fanfiction I am in the process of writing. It is the only completely finished part of the fanfiction so far, and I wanted to know your opinion, and if the story catches you interests. Let me warn you, it's a rather angsty story, but I can't imagine Izaya and Shizuo's relationship as anything but that. It contains lots of good fluff too, don't worry ;)**

**Basically, Izaya has been receiving anonymous letters, containing death threats. He is later attached and raped by the vengeful psychopath, who lets him escape, only to further play mind games with him. At the same time Shizuo is getting in deep trouble with his debts, after a rather large incident, he is arrested and his apartment is repoed along with all of his belongings. The now paranoid, Izaya, needs a bodyguard, and wants nothing but the strongest man in Ikeburkuro, so he makes a deal with the police allowing Shizuo to stay with him, and get paid for it, so he can work off his debt. Both are unhappy with the living situation heehee. And fun angst and fluff insures, and the plot unfolds!**

**Trust me it will be better than it sounds. I'm very serious about my fanfiction and the idea for it has been on my mind for months now:3**

**This occurs probably around chapter 5-10. Shizuo's been working for Izaya for a week or two. And for the most part they still hate each other. Or think they do.**

**There might be some gaps and vague parts, due to me not having written the chapters before it yet.**

**My biggest problem with my writing is that it always seems rushed, I try hard to slow this down but idk if it worked. Did it? If any parts seem rushed, point it out so I can fix it please! And if you see any grammar mistakes or spelling please point it out too. I am terrible at it, but I do try! No flame, No Spam please! :3**

**This is my first fanfiction and I need reviews to keep me going! So R and R please!**

**Arigato Minna!(Thank you everyone) ~ Rokuro006**

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Izaya stretched his arms out to each side of him, palms facing up. Each rain drop cascading between the contours of his hand before slipping away through the gaps of his parted fingers. His nose was pointed towards the weeping night skies, droplets hitting his eyelids and cheeks, rolling down them like falling tears. Dark and heavy hair was matted against his forehead. Strands guided the water in minute streams, from his neck, to his shoulders, and back. Lips parted slightly, allowing him to taste the insipid cold.

It was a thunderless rain but nonetheless ferocious. Every drop felt like a small stone pelting his skin. It was as if the water was liquid fire, stinging what it touched. Thin clothes stretched to near translucency, fully saturated, offering him minimal defense.

The raven knew he was acting out of character. There was no good reason to be standing out there like this. He reaped no benefits, nothing positive would come from it. An impulse, that's all it was ; Almost a primal need to be out in the bitter weather. This time, he didn't think before acted, he acted in order to think. To clear his head.

He wanted,_ needed_, the water to run over him, soaking into his clothes, and then continuing into his very being. But it didn't. It didn't cleanse him. It didn't wash away the darkness and dirt from his tainted soul. It was as if it was so impenetrable it couldn't even begin to scave the surface. Instead it chilled him, inside and out, made him feel numb and miserable, and far too human. _Too alive._

What a senseless thought. No, he mustn't succumb to his humanity. He was a god, ne? Looking down upon his humans, watching and understanding them. Using them for his own entertainment, as if they were only toys. He should never feel like one of them. This misery, this pain, was only something they felt.

_Unacceptable. I'm never like this, these emotions. _

He had come to a conclusion: These feelings can't be simply washed away. And he needed to irradiate them, now.

His eyes shot open.

His head turned downwards to the city street that was hundreds of feet below.

Directly below.

Feet planted firmly on the thin edge of his apartment's rooftop, only mere centimeters away from a deadly drop, he wondered._ Was this his purpose for coming out here all along? _

_Suicide._

_Ha! How pathetic! _Is that what this is?

He had always thought it was so silly. So childish. Ending your own life, but your life is already so short. Wouldn't you rather live with the thrill of not knowing what moment will be your last.

For as well as he understood his humans he could only guess what people thought in advance of their suicide, he could never fathom the emotions before. Is this what it's like? Is this what they thought? This distress. Constant feeling as if the world was caving in on you. Like there was no other escape.

Was this even an escape? Maybe it actually was a trap. And once you die you are forever stuck in a limbo of those same thoughts and emotions.

His mind reeled, thoughts becoming jumbled and insoluble. Every question lead to another. Every idea contradicted itself.

Attempting to find a distraction he refocused his attention on humankind below him, like he had done so many times before.

Air thick with pouring rain he could only make out the dim glow of the car headlights and occasional street lamp. _Damn it._ Squinting to see through the damp eyelashes obscuring his view, he resorted to, imagining the people underneath: Women scrambling in there little heels, there plastic umbrellas shielding their 'precious' hair that's beginning to frizz, regardless: Salary Men in their suits, a newspaper in one hand, covering their head, and a briefcase in the other, signaling for an open taxi.

He chuckled sadistically. Maybe, he should cause some more chaos. Maybe, he should join the countless others who tried so desperately to escape their sorry lives. Maybe, in the afterlife he can take in their reactions as he causes one last situation. How would they respond when his brains are smeared across the concrete, being washed down the gutters? Maybe, some will scream. Maybe, some will cry. Maybe some will go about their business. After all, what was he to one of them?

_If god came down to earth would they notice? Once he brought himself to their level, walked amongst them, would they see him?_

_Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe, I should jump. Maybe, I should fall. Maybe, I should die._

Closing his eyes he relaxed, letting go of his balance. Leaving it all to chance. Yes, fate would be his murderer or savior today. The wind would take him whichever way it pleased?

_Life or Death?_

A shrill ringing began in his ears and increased until he no longer could hear the roar of the liquid connecting with the surface of the roof. It was as if his body was screaming at him in protest, sounding a siren, a final warning, trying to snap him out of this reverie. But Izaya didn't want to, wouldn't let himself. He let out a final long exhale, his body feeling heavy as the last bit of oxygen left his lungs.

Suddenly he was aware of the pounding water against his back, and the breeze that was angrily biting the nape of his neck.

_So its death._

His body was drawn, forward like the earth was pulling him out of the skies where he would surrender to its gravity. His feet began to lift from the ledge.

First his feet, then the arc, the ball, and finally his toes slipped from under him

A single salty tear fell with the millions around it.

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**Read and Review!**

**Chapter 2 sneak peek:**

**_Was his heart beating faster than normal? Or, was it just how a monster's heart functioned? Yes that was it. And the shaking he felt in the arms around his stomach? That must be just because of the cold , right?_**

**I divided it into two short parts. Shizuo will be in the next one.**

**I wrote this all during my math class. My math teacher always comments "Your such a great example to class, concentrating so hard on your notes." *covers notebook with both arms * "yep math, that's what I'm doing," Algebraic equations always turn into Yaoi.**

**If you're a closet yaoi lover( I know you're there!) then do an anonymous review!**

**I need 10 POSITIVE REVIEWS before I publish the next part of the chapter. and 15 before i publish the first chapter of the real story!**


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